The smell in the hotel was impressively foul and there was an alarmingly large population of ants in the bedroom by morning, so we picked up our bags and hiked it to a different part of Phnom Penh, near the lake.

Cambodia is HOT. Gillian and I crawled to a couple of sites, found a market selling crispy tarantulas and cockroaches (I chickened out), fixed my camera, and then slithered back to the guesthouse to read and try to be cool. Played pool (or snooker… what IS the difference?) very badly with a few guys at the guesthouse on “the best table in Cambodia” (if you’re looking for a pool table made from bags of frozen vegetables).

The next day Gillian and I tagged along with a few guys we had met the night before for a pretty full-on day. First to see the S21 Prison: a school turned prison/torture house during the Pol-Pot era and then on to the Killing Fields (presumably no explanation needed?), just outside of Phnom Pehn. All pretty gruesome and heavy stuff… There was an offer from the tuk-tuk driver to take us to an orphanage, but we agreed that would be overkill, so back to the guesthouse to continue melting.

I perked myself up that afternoon by getting a massage from a blind man (trained masseuse, I should say, not random blind man on the street), which was gorgeous and floaty, and then wandered over to the Foreign Correspondents Club, where I was told I would be hit on by “a sleazy journo”. However 2 prostitutes got in there first… they headed straight for me and asked me if I would help them learn English. Weird book they had: A is for Antelope; B is for Baguette; C is for Computer; D is for Danger. I would not make a good teacher: no patience.

Back to the guesthouse that night for more Shithead with Gillian and Rich, and a wee sample of Cambodia’s gardening produce (never offered to Gillian or me, only to guys, we’d noticed, along with prostitutes).

The next morning the 3 of us took the bus to Siem Reap (for Angkor Wat), which is just as hot as Phnom Penh, and checked in to another nasty dirty hotel on the advice of the bus driver. We were too tired to look around for better digs, so showered and went into town for dinner and a drink(s) in “Angkor What?!” (As you would imagine, many puns made about Angkor Wat… endless mirth over the next few days: Whaaaat?).

The next day the 3 of us went on the hunt for a tuk-tuk driver to take us around for the day and came across Mr Batman (he wouldn’t actually tell us his real name over the 2 days he took us around). Mr Batman had put a disturbing amount of effort into turning his tuk-tuk into the batmobile, which of course elicited covetous looks from other Wat tourists. Heh heh.

Anyway, temples: I had been looking forward to this part of the trip since before I knew I was going travelling, so of course I was expecting to have the whole place to myself and not another 12 billion tourists. It was nice enough, but lacking in that mystical creepy atmosphere I had hoped for. (Difficult to please, I know.) The second day of our Batman Experience was less dominated by the click of Japanese cameras as the 3 of us were batted (haw haw) out to the more remote temples and then on to another temple for sunset. However, heading back into town, the batmobile puttered, spluttered and came to a smoky halt, so Mr Batman got on his batphone to call for assistance. His brother, Mr Superman! (… in a decidedly poor imitation tuk-tuk. Admittedly, Superman never did have a Supermobile). The evening ended very messily back in “Angkor What?!”, all of us bumping into different people we had met while traveling and Gillian and I drinking one too many little pink cocktail thingies.

Needless to say the next morningday was a write off: Gillian and I watched 5 films on HBO, while Rich got on a bicycle to carry on Watting (show off). We even got to see the Sex in the City film that HBO had been tantalizingly advertising throughout the last month while travelling with Gillian. A fitting end to our time together – the next day I caught the plane to Laos and became Norman-no-mates again. Had to adjust to travelling on my own after spending time with other people.

Queue violins…

Angkor Wat