Off the train from Sapa and back on the road 3 hours later to HaLong Bay. Gillian and I picked up another straggler, Jess, and the 3 of us were the only backpackers on the little trip of utter luxury! Also the only 3 out of 20 to do the 3day/2night package and so were given a boat all to ourselves on the 2nd night, with chef and waiters. Aaah! Not much to report on for HaLong Bay: its very beautiful with pokey bits of rock peeking out of the water; ladies on boats selling drinks and snacks for extortionate prices; little activity except for a spot of kayaking, swimming, jumping off the top of the boat (7m: eeek!) and drunken Shithead in the evening (a card game, Mom&Dad. I did not name it).

After lunch on the last day (lunch, er, at 10:30am) we zoomed back at HaNoi at a snail’s pace to phaff around for 6hrs to get a train to HoiAn. Gillian and I tried out the “hard bed” option on the sleeper train to save… oh, about 7GBP each. Mistake. We had another 4 Vietnamese people in our (very small) cabin, 2 of whom looked like they were about to expire on the journey, and all of whom woke up at 5:15am with much shouting and rushing in and out, only to go back to sleep at 8am (honestly, is that necessary?). Gillian and I collectively hit our heads 9 times. It was not a fun journey.

From Danang, where the train delivered us (to platform 9, although I still haven’t seen a single platform in Vietnam yet; you must tumble from the train like a broken sack of rice), we caught a minivan that ran out of petrol a few times to HoiAn. The journey there was quite an eye-opener: the central coast of Vietnam was hit badly by Typhoon Ketsana and there were piles of debris along the roadside, under palm trees battered by the storm. HaNoi itself seemed to have sprung back to life easily and the Vietnamese Sales Force was in full swing: “buysomethingfrommeee!” squeals at every turn. Gillian came across the best sales pitch though:

• Gillian: “How much is this book?”
• Lady: “Fifty thousand”
• Gillian: “How about I give you forty?”
• Lady: “Fifty-five”
• Gillian: “But it was just fifty!”
• Lady: “You don’t like fifty, I don’t like forty”

Gillian bought the book.

Although its pretty, there’s not a heap of things to do in HoiAn, but the thing to do is get clothes tailored. We both got a couple of dresses/skirts made. 3 dresses and a skirt, custom-made by hand (there’s that sales pitch again), all for $38. Bargain!

We went for a little walk out of the “tourist area” on our last day. You could tell by walking though the streets how high the water had risen and how much damage had been done. Apparently the worst flood in central Vietnam for 3 years, with over 100 dead, mostly children. Pretty sad.

From there we hopped back to the other side of the river for our cooking course. I am an expert… chopper! And eater! I didn’t learn much, but who cares! The chilly and lemongrass snapper and deep fried wantons with sweet and sour sauce was delish. Don’t ask me to make it again though…

From the cooking course we rolled each other back to the hotel to pack in anticipation for The Sleeper Bus to MuiNe. We had discovered the most uncomfortable way to get around the country! The times I did get to sleep I woke up with my legs dangling over the side and the safety belt under my arms. Probably quite comfortable if you are the shape and size of a chop stick.

Which I am not, after eating noodles for the last 5 months.

sneaky junk in ha long bay