What an interesting past few days…

Saturday, the day before the Full Moon party on Ko Phangan, I tookit easy, finished a book and went up to visit that guy with his nasty monkey that bit me. When I arrived he came rushing out to greet me very enthusiastically. I found out his name was Jim (or Cheeem?). I stayed for a bit and he told me about his friend Peter-from-Austria who had stayed with him for a month in his little shack. Magically, just then Peter-from-Austria arrived and I was told I was to stay for dinner, which Jim didn’t want me to pay for, and Jim read me my horoscope and told me which girls he thought were pretty in a magazine. I lingered a little longer after the food but soon decided to leave as Peter was a bit weird and quiet, shouting “fuck!” every now and again (he had come with electric cable and light bulbs to illuminate Jim and his friends)..

The next morning I woke up early and made my way down to the pier to catch my boat to Ko Phangan. I had arranged to meet up with Ruth (one of the 4-in-one-room girls) and the nice German couple, Anna and Tobi who I had met the day Jim’s monkey bit me. Anna and Tobi were coming over later in the day and I had no idea where Ruth was, so I settled down in the Lazy House to watch films and pass time before going onto the beach. Met a guy called Emmanuel just before Tobi and Anna arrived (gave up on Ruth, we lost each other somehow) and we all went down to the beach. The night kind of went by uneventfully – it reminded me of a very drunken house party when I was a teenager, with more loud music and glowy paint. Anna and Tobi left to catch the 5am boat and I wandered around, trying not to be bored and resolving that when the next person asked me how old I was I was going to tell them 20: I felt like an undercover grown-up. Found a spot on the beach next to a young man who had passed out and was shivering uncontrollably (although it was baking hot already), and watched the sun rise. Well caught glimpses of it anyway: people throwing up, weeing in the sea and falling on the ground sometimes got in the way. It was like a war zone, but vaguely amusing.

Finally got the 8:30am boat back, went back to the bungalow, had a swim in the sea to get rid of the orange glowy paint stuff and did some washing. Still hadn’t slept, but tried to put that off till the evening. Went into town and then decided to visit Jim and pay for a beer I had forgotten to pay for on Saturday. Jim wasn’t there but surly Peter-from-Austria was and looked terribly excited to see me. A bit of a change, but thought nothing of it, and listened as he rambled on about the history of heavy and black metal and the different types of drugs he had taken (everything, it seemed). Interspersed with my education he kept telling me that he wanted to tell me something about “the people here”, but wouldn’t say what, but would write it down and burn it. He was so out of it he kept forgetting and I was getting a little annoyed, so didn’t remind him. It came out that he had taken Crystal Meth earlier on (did I want some?) which would explain the rabbitting on, so didn’t think too much of it all. It was getting quite dark by this stage and I was practically in the middle of nowhere, so got the chatterbox to take me to the toilet before going back to where I was staying (I still had not slept, 35 hours). As I was coming out of the loo he told me that the guys he was staying with were part of the Ko Tao mafia and they all slept with 9mm pistols under their pillows, Jim was addicted to crystal meth and had 2 people killed a year or so ago. Jim was supposed to be some kind of powerful man on Ko Tao. Peter looked absolutely terrified, but at this stage I still thought it was the crystal talking, so didn’t think too much of it.

Walking back to the hut to get my bag I saw that I sparkly new 4×4 had just arrived and 2 guys wearing sunglasses (it was pitch dark at this stage) were getting out of the car with what looked like rifles. Holy crap! Jim arrived, greeting me less enthusiastically than last time, and I decided I REALLY had to go. Men kept walking in and out of the jungle and loud bangs were going off (it turned out the rifles were “just for shooting squirrels”,,,). Peter looked desperately at me and said he wanted to go for a walk and tell me something about his ex. Er, I said I really had to sleep and had to go home – I would come back tomorrow. He looked like he was about to burst into tears, so I gave in. He told me how he found out last week that his girlfriend was a Thai prostitute and he wanted to take her back to Austria, but her pimp found out and came to Jim’s hut to have it out with him. Jim found out and there was a bit of a shouting and guns waved around. Peter says he is now too scared to go back into town and bought a knife the day after, which he showed me. Brilliant! Just what I wanted to see in the middle of the night in the jungle with some crazy Austrian on crystal meth. He sat down in the road and started crying (which I was quite relieved about – better than attacking me) and I told him in my most cheerful voice that it was all going to be ok, but I was REALLY tired and had to go to sleep. Now. Immediately. I would come back tomorrow. As we came back to the hut area Jim was there shouting at the 2 sunglasses guys with a black thing in his hand. I didn’t stay long enough to find out whether it had come from under his pillow, or someone else’s.

I drove back so fast I fell over (will have to pay an enormous amount for the scratches, when I return the bike, I’m sure), ate dinner and ran to bed, turning off the light and not daring to turn the fan on – I was convinced they were going to come after me. Managed to doze off, to wake up at to my phone ringing. I didn’t recognise the number and in my half-asleep paranoid state I was convinced that it was them, trying to work out which bungalow I was staying by phoning me. (Completely stupid and unfounded fear – they didn’t have my number, and anyway, why would they be after me?). Turned out it was Ingrid, phoning to see if I was ok, but I still didn’t get much sleep after that: it was very hot, with the fan off and the gecko/lizard things were banging around so loudly I was convinced it was Jim and his mates, come to take me away and sell me into prostitution to pay for his crystal meth addicition. In the light of day it all sounds amusing, but last night was awful (I even slept with my swiss army knife next to me).

Anwyay, I’m back in town this morning, going to meet up with Anna and Tobi, go kayaking and do normal touristy things. This whole “getting to know the locals” concept isn’t all that much fun ater all.

Jim's hut